Yes, my children are a bit clueless. I always figured they got it from HIS side of the family. This past week, however, has made me think otherwise. I know that my kids are smart. At least, on an intellectual level, that is. Common sense-wise, not so much. How, you ask? Well, kid #1 is going to a national trial competition. She leaves today, actually. Anyway, I was talking to her two nights ago and asked her what her flight # is. She has no clue. Okayyyy. So then I ask her what hotel they are staying at. Again, no clue. I ask her how much money she's taking. Her, "Uh, like, none." I asked her what the itinerary says they will be doing during the days since they will have them open as the competition is during the evenings. Again, she doesn't have a clue about the itinerary or what's on it as she doesn't have one. Mmmmkay. Soooooo, I gently (okay, not so gently) tell her to find out where she's staying and at least what airline they're flying with. That way, I at least know the locale in case all of them get thrown in jail for disorderly conduct at the competition and I have to come up with bail money. (Actually, that scenario would probably only happen with kid #2, but you just never know.....)
Anyway, since I'm always talking about their cluelessness, I might as well 'fess up to my own. Last week, I was going to meet a girlfriend and go watch her daughter in a pageant. As I was putting on jeans and cute little polo shirt, I had a thought. I thought, hmmmmmm, my kick-ass suede gray leather ankle boots would really look cute with this.....Yeah, I shoulda' went with the ORIGINAL idea. To wear my black flats. But noooooo, I wanted to look cute. And we all know that cute always wins out. Am I right? Uh huh. But I gotta' tell ya', lying flat on the ground, all sprawled out with a face full of dirt just ain't cute, or sexy. Yeah, that old commercial was rattlin' around in my head at the time, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" Kid #3 came over and helped drag my ass to my feet while saying, "Didja fall or what, Mom?" "Naw, I was just lying here so I could get a better look at this here bug that I inadvertantly smashed to smithereens......I'm interested in the ecological issues concerning him and the impact that my recent actions might cause his fellow commune dwellers...."
Yes, I went to that damn pageant, too. Gimpy leg and all. Smart? Well, at the time, I thought so. That is, til said gimpy leg decided to start swelling up and turning all purple. I looked like the Elephant man's sister. Not attractive, nor cute at this stage of the game.....The male nurse at the emergency room showed zero empathy for my need to wear cute shoes that morning, either. Said women in heels was a dumb idea. Course, coming from him, I wasn't impressed. He was wearing something kin to croc's. Ugly-ass shoes. I think they were even purple. I shoulda' told him that Barney called me and asked me to tell him to please return his shoes.
The moral of the story, boys and girls, is this. If the risk of injury is worth it, go ahead.....wear the damned cute shoes anyway! You'll only be out of commision for a couple of weeks!
No comments:
Post a Comment