The trials and tribulations of Maxine!

So, haven't written in a while so I 'spose it's about time for a new blawg.  It's been an eventful couple weeks, to say the least.  It all started the week before the big spring livestock show.  One of our dogs, Sweetie (snort, NOT well named)  helped the neighbor's damned demon dog chase down one of Lil' Max's goats and killed it.  Not only did they kill him,  but they were also in the process of sampling the hind quarter portion of Nosey (the now deceased but formerly live goat).  Not only that, but the damned thing cost us $500 bucks to boot.  Sigh....at least the little one, Dew, got away, though he prolly needed some "therapy" after the trauma that he endured.  Poor thing ran to the neighbors on the OTHER side of us, away from the demon dog neighbor's house.  Poor thing couldn't/wouldn't even bleet.., seriously.  Someone suggested a "goat whisperer", but I digress. 
So, after all this we go to the livestock show and show our poor traumatized goat with the scratches and chew marks still fresh and visible all over him, bless his heart.  I guess it didn't help that in the 6 days time between the "incident" and the show, he also lost 7 pounds and wasn't really eating much.  Poor guy would really only eat when Lil Max was in the pen with him.  Just what I need....a goat with issues who now needs a therapist!
Anyway, after the show my kid gets sick.  Guess it was all the barn dust.  So, being the really good Momster I am, I made him a doctor's appointment.  The doctor asked HIM what his symptoms were and dutifully took notes.  Then doc says, "anything else"?  to which Max says, "yes, I do believe that I was having hot flashes last night while I was sleeping".  I.  Lost.  It.  I'm always talking about hot flashes, and I guess the kid picked up that particular phrase from MOI!  Doc couldn't keep a straight face, but me?  I was on the floor rollin' around laughing my ass off.  You gotta' watch what you say in front of your kids, people.  Thank GOD it was hot flashes and nothing more scandalous.  Especially considering the fact that I have a vernacular that would curl a sailors toes and render him speechless yet quite proud of my colourful turn of phrases!
  After all the events of the week before, I really needed the comic relief that only one of my children can bring.  Ahhhh, kids and the shit they say and do!