An introduction

Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Maxine, or Mad Max; as my daughter likes to call me.  I am, unfortunately or fortunately, whichever you prefer, from the deep, deep, DEEP south.  I call it the butt-crack of civilization.  If you have the pleasure of knowing anyone or, perhaps, being from said bowels you know what I mean.  People from the south have a, shall we say, skewed view of things.  They will pass judgement on everyone and everything, whether they have room to judge or not.  I am no exception.  I like to say that an opinion is something that most people should keep to themselves, but it's like stupid, it just oozes outta some people whether we like it or not.  I guess I'm one of the Stoopids, because I seem to always be oozing something, even when I KNOW that I shouldn't say something, I do anyway.  It always comes back and bites me in the ass, too.  It's like an affliction, I suppose.  One of which, in my case it seems, has no cure.  Hell, I'm lucky if I ONLY piss off a person or two a week, not that it really bothers me, but still.  I'm sure that my kids think I should seek therapy for this, but it's one of the most entertaining things that I have going for me.   It also drives my kids bat-shit crazy.  I would be lying if I said that I don't enjoy that aspect of it, which I do.  Very much, in fact. 
And in a nutshell, there you have it.  I make ZERO apologies for what I'm sure will offend, embarrass or humiliate anyone that I know or am related to.  I will use monikers as I see fit to protect the innocent and embarrass the guilty.  I promise to twist, lie, abbreviate and downright massacre some stories, facts and just random shit as I see fit.  After all, this is MY blog, dammit.  That's how it is in Maxine's World, people.  You have been warned.  Read at your own risk.  After reading, you may or may not decide to drop me a comment.  If you do, please realize that I am one of those people that really doesn't know what it means to be politically correct.  I make no promises to behave myself in regards to replying to your pissy or snarky comments.  Keep that in mind if you do decide to comment.  Just sayin'......